So. One kid is now off to college. I dreaded it for a long time, and then it happened.
And it's okay.
He's been at University of Northern Iowa for 2-1/2 months now, and he's connected with a church (playing drums there), and a running club, and the "UNI Outdoors" program, which is a group he went spelunking with in South Dakota this past weekend.
On Sunday, I texted him to ask if he knew UNI beat North Dakota State in football the day before, ending ND State's 33-game winning streak (!!). No, he told me, I've been in a cave. Literally.
And having the time of his life.
If it had been up to me, he wouldn't even be at UNI, majoring in leisure (which I try to say without rolling my eyes), and taking weekend trips to caves.
It's a good thing it wasn't up to me.
When your kid goes off to college, it makes you reflective as to whether you've done enough to prepare him for what's next. Dennis and I have done some things right, and some things very wrong. But one of the best things we've done is to mostly allow Trevor to choose his own paths along the way.
When I think back to the things that have been huge in his life, and have made him the person he is today, Dennis and I chose exactly ZERO of them. How's that for humbling?
Cross country -- I never would have guessed. When he was little, we signed him up for baseball and soccer. and bowling. :) In 7th grade, he decided he wanted to run. Okay, mister 9-minute mile. And then he worked his ass off until he was a team captain in high school and running varsity.
Drums -- We put him in grade-school band playing trumpet, and also got him hooked up with piano lessons. And then he asked where he could take drum lessons. School band? Yawn. We got him a drum set and an instructor... actually several instructors along the way. He has loved being in different garage bands, and has played some fun shows in Des Moines. He's made his way onto church praise teams, where he has found mentors in the realm of music, faith, life.
Y Camp -- Again, he's the one who brought up going to summer camp when he was nine. It hadn't even crossed my mind. Now he's on staff at the same camp he started at, and again, he's found friends and mentors and fun and adventure there. His camp experiences have largely paved the way for wanting to major in leisure (no eye roll).
College -- We visited a handful of schools, and thought the choices were fairly whittled down by the fall of his senior year, and then Trevor said, "Oh. And I want to visit UNI."
So there ya go. I still tried pulling for my alma mater, Truman State University, but I knew.
I hesitate to give much parenting advice. It's a tough job with constant second-guessing. But here's what I've learned from raising this one: he needed us to give him options and opportunities and encouragement along the way, and then he needed us to get out the way and let him be him.
I wouldn't have guessed. But that's kinda the point.
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