Free Friday Advice

Remember the whole thing about the 5 'love languages," back in the 90s? My top love language is gifts. I really appreciate an unexpected bauble or gadget gifted my way... doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. I just think it's fun and altogether nice when someone thinks enough to buy, make or steal something for me. 

Yesterday, someone I love very much came home and held something behind his back as he tried to slink past me. 

"What do you have there??"

"You'll see." 

ooooh. Intrigued. 

What I would find out minutes later is that Dennis got me a package of "crystallized lime." It's all natural, comes in little packets, you can add it to drinks or recipes or what have you. Kinda cute. He knows I like lime, and we hadn't seen this product before, so he simply thought it might be the kind of thing I would appreciate.

What a sweet darling!

But here's where he went wrong. He snuck downstairs and found a gift bag for this tart little flavor additive. And fluffed in some colorful tissue paper. 

Do you see the problem here? You'd think when he saw my expression turn from curiosity to Christmas morning, he might have tried to temper it with a quick disclaimer of "it's just a little something."

No. 

He let me fling the tissue paper aside and dig into that bag to find my green limey prize.

I think he might have enjoyed watching my 10-second roller coaster ride. Jerk.

 

We laughed. It's all good.

So, here's my free Friday advice. Manage those expectations. They'll get you every time.

And, groceries don't belong in gift bags. They belong in grocery bags. 

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend. And if you need more lime in your margaritas, I have just the thing.

2013 VMAs - because what we really need is more commentary about it.

Another round of the MTV VMAs last night, the awards show unlike any other awards show. At the VMAs, you never know what's going to happen, and whatever does happen, people will be talking about it the next day. You kinda don't want to watch, and you kinda can't help yourself.

And so I watch.

I watch these young artists clutch their "moon man" trophies, and I wonder if the moon man as a symbol can mean much to them, can stir the nostalgia it does for those of us who were coming of age in the 80s. (They do know it's from MTV's original launch sequence, right??)

Sadly, my family didn't have cable in the early years of MTV. Thankfully, I had friends who did. Summertime was the best, when there were endless hours available to sit in front of MTV... watching actual music videos! (I won't belabor this point. I think we get it.) But, yeah, that moon man was on the screen a lot, staking his claim between videos of Michael Jackson, The Cars, Pat Benatar, Van Halen, Prince, Madonna. I'm tempted to say something about how we didn't know how good we had it, but I think, on some level, we knew.

Not that our parents were always happy about what we were watching. Musical artists, as they always have, were breaking into new territory and pushing the limits, and as such, my generation developed a pretty high tolerance for the provocative and edgy.

Which brings me back to the VMAs, and a couple opinions about last night's show. Lady Gaga. Yeah, she's odd. And you don't always understand exactly what you're watching when she performs. But that's like a lot of art. You get the sense that, even if you don't "get it," she does.

And then there's Miley Cyrus. Oh Miley. We know you're trying to be all grown up and push boundaries like other great female artists have done. But you come across like the drunkest girl at a frat party. Those of us who grew up in the Madonna era aren't easily shocked, remember? We're not prudes, and we don't mind edgy. But the twerking and the foam finger didn't seem edgy. It just seemed sad. In order to pull off provocative, you have to convince the audience it's coming from a place where you know who you are. We're not convinced you know anything other than that you're not Hannah Montana. You don't need to put that on a neon billboard anymore. But, it's gotta be hard growing up in the spotlight and trying to figure out who you are. I'm sympathetic (probably not the reaction you were going for), but my relief when your performance ended was only matched by my relief that you didn't walk away with a moon man last night.

Oh, and the 'NSYNC reunion was a golden moment, but I can't believe they were just a blip in the JT show. More!!

Huge thanks to Taylor Swift for sparing us the "I can't believe I won" facade this time. I don't say nice things to you enough, TSwift. You looked lovely last night. And so TALL next to Bruno! This made me smile.

One more thing. This photo of Will Smith's family during Miley's performance will become legendary. It's just too good.

[edit: Sadly, we found out later that this Smith family photo was not taken during Miley's performance. oh well, it was fun while we believed it.]

Wasp vs. Spider

Yesterday I was on the back deck when I noticed a wasp flying around. He landed on a spider web, and I became intrigued. Can a wasp get stuck on a spider web?? It was a Wild Kingdom moment in the making, and I was watching it live. Entranced.

Without losing any time, a spider appeared from some remote quadrant of the web, and giddyup, he was excited. He was smaller than the wasp but came bounding across the web. Dinner bells were ringing in his little webby world, and as he broke into a virtual gallup, I think I heard him yelling, "yeeeehaaaaaa!" Holy crap, I can't believe I'm watching this little spider take down a wasp. This should be good.

A moment later, the spider got close to his presumed next meal and -- fffft ffffft -- the wasp released his best ninja moves on the little arachnid! It happened so fast I'm not even sure exactly what transpired, but that wasp flew off with the spider! I don't think the spider knew what hit him. Ambushed in his own trap.

What? Wasps eat spiders?? This minute of my life has been full of surprises.

I don't have much affinity for spiders or wasps, so I'm not sure who I was rooting for. But I do have to wonder about the fairness of bringing ninja skills into a cowboy world.

Last First Day

Today, Trevor and Nate head back to school to start the 2013-14 year as a high school senior and sophomore. First day of school, once again! This is my 15th First Day of School (it's worthy of capitalization), including the preschool years. The morning goodbye has a predictable routine. It might be the same at your house. "Wait! We need pictures! Yes, you have to. Stand over there. Closer to each other. Smile! Not that smile. C'mon, just a nice smile, please? Thank you. Okay, now hurry before you're late!" And they're off.

And today is a big one. Not only is it the first time I've watched the two of them drive off to the same building together, but it's Trevor's last First Day of School, at least for this chunk of life before college and whatever else lies ahead. And it makes me lightheaded. Someone get me a bag to breathe into. (Yes, again.) I'm fairly laid back. I don't stress over much. But when I think too much about this, the tears well and the hearing in my right ear goes out momentarily. It really does. I know, I should get that checked. 

I'm trying to figure out how to get through the next year. I want to feel the significance of the big moments, and also the little ones, without letting it get all unnecessarily melodramatic in my head, or worse, in public.

Many parents have forged the path before me, and they seem to have gotten through it, so I have sought and will keep seeking their advice. "How am I going to do this??" I usually don't get a real answer, but without exception, I do get a full dose of empathy in their eyes meeting mine. And that means something. I get the feeling there are things they don't know how to put into words, and that I'll understand those things in due time. Fair enough.

So, as I try to find my own way down this path, I'll be working on some strategies. The first one, on this last First Day of School, is to not be ridiculous and make it worse by pulling out a photo from his first day of kindergarten.

Hey cutie. So much for that one. But I'm not even crying. Really. Not at this moment, at least. Maybe I can do this after all.

Since this last First Day is just the first of more lasts to come (you following?), do feel free to tell me when I inevitably get pathetic, and we can laugh about it. That'll help. 

You'll have to speak into my left ear.