Trevor's senior year, his choice of vacation. So it's a 5-night cruise out of Tampa to Grand Cayman and Cozumel, and we're joined by Dale (Dennis's brother), Michelle, Anika & Eric for this trip.
Some recollections and random thoughts.
Des Moines is still pricey to fly from, so this trip had us driving to Minneapolis for a direct flight to Tampa. Somewhere mid-route between Des Moines and Minneapolis, there were some excess "emissions" in the car, and Dennis powered down a back-seat window for some fresh air. Trevor then decided to stick his whole arm out the window, for whatever reason, but Dennis didn't realize this when he pressed the button to roll the window back up. Trevor started yelling, but we don't react all that quickly to his outbursts, so Dennis was persistent with the "window up" button, in an apparent attempt to amputate Trevor's arm. I saw the flailing arm in my side-view mirror. Hilarious. No arms were lost, and it was our biggest laugh of the day.
"Simple-pleasure" thrill of the day: We stopped at a gas station in Albert Lea, MN, and I found cinnamon Mentos! Dennis and I used to get these back in college, but I haven't seen them in probably 20 years. For that many years, literally every time I'm in a convenience store and see Mentos, I look for cinnamon, but they never have it. JACKPOT in Albert Lea! I bought three rolls, which, yes, was clearly ridiculous. I should have bought the whole damn box and asked if they had more in the back.
Once we reached MSP, we parked and trekked into the terminal with all our stuff, and as we were getting ready to check bags, I noticed Trevor still had his full pillow with him.
"Why do you still have your pillow? Wasn't that just for the drive?"
"Oh. Yeah."
It was an old pillow. He decided to throw it away rather than walk it back to the car. It's probably not the weirdest thing the airport janitorial team has ever encountered in the garbage, but we did enjoy watching him stuff it into the opening of the nearest trash can.
We also enjoyed watching him get pulled for a random hand swab while going through security, and THEN test positive for chemical residue on his hands. (Yeah. Who knows.) This earned him a private-room pat-down. I rushed over in time to warn him about not making jokes, which he later admitted was probably a good reminder.
iPads at every seat in our waiting lounge at MSP? Minneapolis, you are so cool I don't even know what to do with you.
Got to Tampa. Made it to hotel. Saw a family we knew from West Des Moines. Some years ago, the dad coached Trevor's soccer team for many seasons. Trevor barely remembered him, which I'm sure made him feel good about all those dedicated hours. Met up with Dale, Michelle, Anika & Eric, our cruise comrades. All is good. Next morning, embarkation.
Day 2 - All Aboard
I think this is my tenth cruise, which is a fairly big number for someone who isn't a particular fan of cruises. I don't know how I've managed to get to ten. They just seem to happen. I am a big fan of The Rock Boat, an annual music-festival cruise we've done a few times. The Rock Boat bears very little resemblance to traditional cruises, and has in many ways ruined the "normal" cruise experience for me. Still, attitude is everything, so I'll focus on the positive, and try not to compare the lounge acts with my favorite bands.
Cruise tip #1: Spring for a stateroom with a balcony. Yes, it's more expensive. Do it anyway. I know, I know -- you won't be spending much time in your cabin. I'm telling you. Get a balcony. You can see the light of the sunrise. You can open your sliding door and hear the ocean rushing by. Enjoy your very own space with a view. Order room service and enjoy a meal on your private veranda. Or just sit for a long time, looking at the water until your shoulders are a little further away from your ears. Get the balcony.
Cruise tip #2: You know those over-the-door shoe holders? Clear, plastic? Get one. Bring it. Hang it on the outside of your closet door and use it to hold all of your odds and ends -- sunblock, key cards, jewelry, sunglasses, charger cords, playing cards, whatever. Cruise ship rooms are tight, and this super helps organize the clutter. I came across this tip a few years ago, and it's the best cruise advice I've ever gotten.
We spent much of today walking the ship, learning where everything is. Found the self-leveling pool tables, which may be one of the coolest things ever. The whole top of the pool table moves and adjusts with the movement of the ship to keep the playing surface level. Much better than standard pool tables we've experienced on other cruises. On previous trips (I'm looking at you, NCL), when the ship rolls to one side, so do all the pool balls. Sure, it's funny. At first.
Tonight we watched the Cyclones win the Big 12 tournament from the ship's cozy English Pub. Met other Iowans, as we always seem to do, no matter where we are. We had such a good time, we promised Blair the waiter we'd be back every night. He was unaffected.
Day 3 - Day at Sea
Cruise tip #3: Enduring the feeding-frenzy of the ship's buffet is inevitable. Keep your limbs tucked close, and be ready to give a punch in the gills if necessary. After filling your plate, don't take the first table you find available indoors. Head further back, no, even further, for al fresco dining on the open back deck. On a crowded ship, fresh air is your friend. Plus, it's a peaceful back there. And the ocean blue is better without a pane of glass separating you from it.
First day at sea. I'm not much of a joiner on the ship, but when I heard of a three-session class to learn the "Thriller" dance and then perform it on the final night, could there be any question this was worth joining? I don't know how I talked Dennis and Michelle into doing it too, but there we were at the first practice, getting our zombie on. I was laughing before the class even began. The cruise director took the rehearsals kinda seriously, only adding to the humor. ("You can't smile. Zombies don't smile. It kills the mood.") hahaha. Our first class went pretty well, although it made Dennis late for getting signed up for the ping pong tournament. oops.
Nate and Trevor did get there in time to enter the tourney. They both won their first match easily, and advanced to the quarter finals, where Trevor lost his match by a heartbreaking one point. Nate rolled on to the championship, which tested his nerves under pressure. He walked away with the top hardware, which he has worn around the ship ever since.
After the Thriller class, ping pong tournament, and you-can't-not-look belly-flop contest, this girl needed a quiet spot, and I have enough experience to know where the introverts hang out (I use the phrase "hang out" loosely, since there's no interaction) -- the far back of the boat, behind the Schooner Bar, in the far reaches of the upholstery-rich Colony Club, where you can read, relax, and nod off above the wake of the ship. I was sleeping, bare feet hanging over the end of my private sofa, only to be jarred awake an hour or so later. My fellow introverts had abandoned me, and the crew member who woke me up said I'd need to leave, as a private party was to begin in 15 minutes. I collected my belongings and shuffled off like a common homeless person.
Warm, quiet, comfortable lounge where I read till I fell asleep. Just like my favorite study lounges in college. But with ocean.
The kids have their own stateroom for the first time, across the hall from ours. Their room is a housekeeping nightmare, and I have no idea what time they get in at night. This is okay.
Day 4 - Grand Cayman, St. Patrick's Day
We took it pretty easy, grabbed a taxi to Seven Mile Beach and had lunch by the water. Bliss. Drinking age on Grand Cayman is 18, and Trevor enjoyed his first pina colada. Cheers.
Got back on board in time for Thriller dance rehearsal #2. It's getting harder to remember the order of the moves. But they gave us a sheet listing them out, and I have Thriller in my music library, so thankfully we can hold our own practices in the cabin.
Finished the day off with a Guinness and a green beer in the English pub. Our waiter friend Blair is starting to warm up to us.
Day 5 - Cozumel
Dennis & Nate went golfing at the illustrious Cozumel Country Club, where they were warned against going too close to the water hazards, because of crocodiles. I didn't know Mexico had crocodiles.
Trevor and I stayed on board to relax, work out, whatever, and play in the ship's shuffleboard tournament. He & I met in the championship round; I took the silver and he took the gold medal. So Nate's not the only Schmitt with a medal! Turns out, they're pretty easy to come by. Especially when the "championship match" is also the only match. Anyone could have just wandered by and taken the bronze without ever needing to push a shufflepuck. Or whatever they're called. I'm not the expert my silver medal might suggest.
T & I went ashore briefly at Cozumel. I was successful in scoring a Dr Pepper Light, and I also needed to buy cheap tshirts to cut into shreds as part of our Thriller costumes. (Our rigorous rehearsal schedule allowed us a day off today, although the three of us still held a late-night practice session in our cabin.)
Biggest letdown of the day: I was standing outside my room. Two couples walked down the hallway toward me, speaking to each other in German. After they passed, one of them sneezed. (!!) You know what Germans say to sneezes, right?? I was so excited. And then... "bless you." BLESS YOU. Seriously?!?! Totally robbed of the rare chance to hear a real, authentic "gesundheit."
Second biggest letdown of the day: looking down from our balcony at Cozumel's clear water and realizing it was a huge mistake to not do any scuba diving this trip. We'll fix that on the next vacation.
Nate entered the teen table tennis tournament and won it. He's not going to be able to get these medals off and on around his fat head.
Day 6 - Final Day at Sea
It's the big day. Final rehearsal this morning for the big Thriller performance. Dennis bailed. So it's down to me and Michelle and 30-some other members of our illustrious dance troupe. I'm super excited. Michelle, not as much.
To take my mind off the impending performance, Dennis and I joined a beer-tasting class this afternoon led by Mickey, the Macedonian manager of the English Pub. We learned some new things, particularly about beers on nitro (gassed with nitrogen rather than CO2), which was pretty interesting to us, you know, the brewmasters we are. We also were introduced to John Smith's Engish ale, a nitro which became a fast favorite. We made friends with some other beer connoisseurs (lest you think I can't ever be an extrovert) and stuck around together after the tasting session to compete as a team in the sports trivia contest. We lost. Probably because we had been drinking beer rather than reviewing our sports trivia knowledge. And also because the questions were really hard.
Not much more to say about today -- you know... sun, pool deck, buffets, blah blah blah... OH, and only the capstone of the whole cruise, the Thriller performance in the ship's atrium. Michelle and I got decked out in our best undead makeup and costuming, and rocked that dance! The atrium was filled to the rafters and it was all super charged. I've been tongue-in-cheek about the whole thing, but it really was pretty cool. Our motley bunch of dancers included elementary-aged kids and grey-haired grannies, and every age in between. We executed. The King of Pop would have been proud.
Day 7 - Heading home
Today, our return to reality.
It's good to be unplugged for a time, but it's also good when the ole' smartphone connects to the world again.
In spite of spending a week together, we still have some conversation left in us. Some of today's big questions:
When and by whom were luggage carousels invented? Because they are brilliant.
Nate wants to know if there's a banana-scented cologne. Because bananas just smell so great.
Shamrock shakes -- disgusting? girly? both?
Hard to come home to the Midwest? Nah. It's the first day of spring. So things are looking up.
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